Friday, September 04, 2009

Thoroughly Modern


I've always thought I should have an E Z Pass Fast Lane transponder thing. When I'm with someone who does, I love sailing through the tollbooths and past the laboring peasants.

Last Saturday night on my way to Logan Airport, I was stuck in the gridlock meltdown road rage snakepit of all times as two cash lanes were open and four Fast Lanes. And I was in my new car just waiting to get bumped or crashed into. That kind of tension does not appeal to me, so I actually remembered to apply for one of these fkers online. I should have it soon. Yaaay!

As far as banking goes, I am a pretty modern gal (shown here with a new hairstyle, new hair color, new body weight, and new face--those hormone shots are working!) I long ago switched to debit card. I like the way the money comes right out of my checking account when I buy something. That's the way it would be if we walked around with piles of cash. I don't like getting a credit card bill.
WHAT? I BOUGHT THAT? WHEN DID I DO IT?

OH YEAH. WHAT A DUMB IDEA THAT WAS. AND NOW I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

I am an online banker too. I like the way you can peruse all your activity there and I like clicking instead of writing checks. I still write a few checks, notably to my snow plow guy who doesn't seem to ever get the electronic checks. Dude, let's get with it! You're younger than I am! [I think this is true--I've never actually seen the guy]
See full size image


Keys will be the new frontier. I already own and enjoy my keyless entry for the car, although I don't like the loud beep it makes. What if I'm trying to make a discreet getaway? What if I don't want the attention, you know?

In hotels now, instead of fumbling with keys, we get to fumble with the perforated/dotted computer cards. First put it in this way, then backwards, then upside down, all the while hoping for a green light that will let us in. I'm waiting for the Mission Impossible recognize-the-retina-of-your-eye unlocking device. Will I have to take off my glasses for that?

MODERNIST GADGETS THAT FAILED
The biggest one I can think of is the deli computer in the grocery. I embraced it at first. Wow, rather than waiting in line, just punch in your order on the machine. Then walk through the entire store, forget you made the order, check out and go home. Or walk through the entire store and then traipse all the way back to the deli and wait in line to pick up your order. Meh.

Engine light in your car. The engine light in my Honda was on for two years. It was off briefly during inspection. The mechanic told me it wouldn't come on again. I paid $1500. Yes, that's right, dear reader, I am a doofus extraordinaire sometimes. The light was on again in two days. No one knows why it was on. It was a light from beyond, an eternal light that will never die. A religion could be set up in its name and its congregants would be comfortable, reclining in the front seat and back.
And finally, the dreaded.......

Kindle KINDLE. Some of my author friends think this will be the death knell for publishing. I definitely want to try a Kindle but not at $400 or even $300. But I love books and one of the things I love is knowing exactly how far into the book I am. You can feel with your fingers how many pages are done and how many are left. I don't know why this means something to me, but it does. Stay tuned.

School has started. 100 new people now have my email address.

A bientot

love,becky

4 Comments:

At 10:44 AM , Blogger Kay said...

I feel the energy! I love it when you are breezy, incisive and funny ... as you always are! And as always, I agree with everything you say. (Except I don't know anything about baseball so tend to just take your word for it and accept that you are right as usual.) :) I wish I worked with you - our catch-ups at breaks would keep me sane. That is so true re books and feeling the pages .. so true.

 
At 3:50 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Thanks, Kay. I am still in awe over your new pic. wow, girl, you look like a celeb!

 
At 12:42 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Most cars have a way to turn off the beep for keyless entry, but it's usually amusingly convoluted. If the car was like a computer, it'd be in the preferences, but since usually no central screen like that, instead it'll be like the sequence to silence the piercing beep of my mother's new Subaru, which was something along the lines of "turn the car off then on then off, then press and hold the window switch, then turn it off and on six more times". So, check the owners manual and be free of the tyranny! I have mine silenced too.

My Hannaford's is so ghetto -- they just did over the whole place a year ago and although I'm enjoying the fancy olives, now you tell me I'm missing out on computerized lunch meats!!

 
At 7:32 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Yes, sm, fancy olives all around! This deli ordering contraption was only tried for a few months and has been gone for a while. I need to peruse my owner's manual. I need to make myself do it.

 

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