Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A: Honey?
B: Yes, dear?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
A: Did you remember to turn off the oven?
B: Aren't there like twelve employees at our house who can do that?
A: No one knew you were toasting Pop Tarts. It's probably still on.
B: Yeah, so? When was the last time someone made dinner at our house?
A: Is that a dig?
B: No, of course not.
A: A slam against me?
B: Jesus. No.
A: Is it? Because I can take this opportunity to go off with John Mayer. You can have HIS date. Haha.
B: Very funny, darling.
A: You probably have secret plans to meet her anyway.
B: Oh, right. No, of course not.
A: I don't know if I believe you.
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer (Pic:Getty)
JA: Honey?
JM: Yeah. Hi! Hey, man.
JA: Are you listening to me?
JM: Yeah. God, man, long time no see. How ya doin'?
JA: Did you think I looked good when I stood up there?
JM: Oh yeah. Definitely. Hey, how are you? Good to see you.
JA: Do you think Brad felt just a little pang? Don't you think I'm a couple of pounds thinner than she is?
JM: I'd say so. Dude! Vanity Fair party--I'm there!
JA: I think my skin might be a little better.
JM: Hey man, order me a drink, okay?
Robin Wright Penn and Sean Penn
Robin: You are such an asshole.
Sean: Shut the fk up.
Robin: You didn't even thank me in your speech. Why am I even here with you?
Sean: Cause you're using my credit card, you bitch.
Robin: Look how happy everybody else is.
Sean: Life is good, baby, and it will be better after our divorce.
Robin: I can't count on you for anything.
Sean: I'm a great actor. You can count on me for that.
Robin: Oh yeah. You probably left the oven on too.
Sean: That's cause I'm hoping you'll put your head in it.

Still fantasizing about the 81st Oscars, dear reader. Feel the joy.
A bientot
love,
becky

7 Comments:

At 10:02 PM , Blogger Mark said...

Thanks for the best Oscars coverage I've read so far.

 
At 10:22 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Well thanks, Mark. Somehow I don't see you perusing Oscar coverage, but then you never know. Glad to see you.

b

 
At 2:03 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Thankfully the styles at the Oscars were so much more appealing than those disturbing hyper-80s fashion-week pix you showed in the previous post... However, I managed not to see any nominated movies last year, so it was hard to be too invested in which stars ended up at the podium. Or maybe it was easier -- just root for the prettiest.

Where was Jack Nicholson, by the way?

 
At 6:16 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Maybe JN only has the energy these days to sit in the Lakers front row. Hmmm. Good question, sm,

b
Of all my students this semester, only ONE watched the Oscars.

 
At 12:39 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Did your students watch any other awards shows, like the Grammys or MTV VMAs, or do they just not care for old-fashioned TV events?

 
At 7:21 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

They only seem to watch House. I think the young men play video games.

 
At 2:49 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

Funniest Oscar post ever.

 

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