Monday, October 27, 2008

Words I Can't Say in French

The annoying man on Rosetta Stone will not accept my pronunciations of the following words:


Cheval.
Non.
CheVAL.
Non.
CHEval.
Non.
CHEVAL, YOU MOFO, I'M SAYING IT THE BEST I CAN!
Non.

Professeur.
Non.
ProfesSEUR.
Non
All right, YOU say it.
Professeur.
Professeur.
Non.

Trois.
Non.
Twah.
Non.
Terwah.
Non
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME GODDAMMIT, TROIS TROIS TROIS!
Non.

How likely is it that there will be a teacher with three horses in our hotel? See what I'm saying? They ought to get me to the good stuff, like yes bring me the satin sheath and the bonbons. I don't know how long I can last on this primitive material.
Zeut alors!
Merde!
A bientot

love,
becky

13 Comments:

At 11:52 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

It's not that the software is glitchy -- mais non! It is merely preparing you for the experience of Parisian waiters!

 
At 6:18 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

I know you're right, sm. I really can't hear what it is they want me to hear, and so I can't say it. Quel dommage?

 
At 10:34 AM , Blogger Kristina said...

I have nothing to say except that this is funny as hell, and I do hope you don't run into three horses in Paris.

Looking forward to your dispatches from the City of Light.

 
At 8:20 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

We had a wonderfully funny neighbor in the house next door when I was growing up, and he used to say "Quel fromage!" -- it continues to be a family favorite of ours!

 
At 9:22 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

Quel fromage? What a cheese?

I had an offbeat prof in college who was teaching "Literature and the Opera", an awesome class that had about eight students in it. His MAIN job was teaching French. One day in the hall he just started jabbering at me in French. I was totally at a loss, and he finally interrupted himself in English and said, "Have I been speaking French to you?"

Becky, I used that in my book. Remember the scene? I adapted it slightly.

 
At 5:54 AM , Blogger Kay said...

Mercy buckets!
French is such a beautiful language - and now I appreciate that it is funny as hell too!
I remember, when we were over there, getting up the courage to speak French to ask directions, and getting a torrent back impossible to understand ... I'm sure tho that you will be fine - absolutement.

 
At 7:32 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Kay, that is exactly my fear--the torrent.

Kris, I do remember that scene, a great one.

sm, quel fromage sounds perfectly fine. We keep saying sacre bleu! around here.

 
At 9:45 AM , Blogger Kristina said...

I spoke Italian to actual Italians and they usually answered me in English.

 
At 12:30 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I think "quel fromage" is supposed to be a pun or accidental-on-purpose word-choice mistake for "quel dommage". A bit like "life's a beach", but less insipid! Another one that just came to me that's more like the latter than the former -- "c'est la brie!"

Or, those could be things you'd say in French while standing in front of your fridge eating Cooler Ranch Doritos out of the bag... along with "ou es mon Whip de Cool??"

 
At 12:32 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

(Oh, pardonez moi -- pas Whip de Cool, mais Whip de Miracle!)

 
At 12:13 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Quel Panama! I've read about that one, referring to the horrible fiasco of the Panama Canal, which the French built? You're too skilled for me, sm, but I'm going to catch up!

 
At 8:59 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I'm sure you'll catch up and zoom past me -- for one thing, you're actively studying while I'm cheating by looking things up!

(I didn't know the Panama Canal story but my trusty old well-thumbed copy of the wikipedia proves you right -- apparently the French started it and then abandoned it (with lots of worker deaths), then the US attempted and succeeded later. When you're in Paris, it's probably best not to bring it up!)

PS My word-verification code is "verbal" for this -- an actual word I can type fast!

 
At 9:59 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

I had an odd word verification recently too, but I can't remember what it was. Do you suppose they're trying to tell us something?

b

 

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