Sunday, July 06, 2008

Facebook is totally strange.

Myspace is weird too, of course, and mostly seems to be advertising for bands and books and products. That's why many of my colleagues get on there, to promote their stuff. And why not? Everyone is always ready to try the New Big Thing.


But Facebook is truly inane.


JANEY JONES SENDS MARSHA SMITH A HIBISCUS!


You might have the same reaction I always do, dear reader. Who the f cares?

But I promise you, messages like this fill the site.

PENNY JONES SENDS MARSHA SMITH A ROSE!

Explain to me how this is not like kindergarten.

PATSY JOHNSON SENDS MARSHA SMITH AN OBSCURE TROPICAL FUNGUS!

MARSHA SMITH DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!

MARSHA SMITH SENDS ALL HER FRIENDS A SCORPION!


EAT SHIT AND DIE, YOU ASSHOLES!


Well now, I made part of that up. I don't think you can send a rose.

But really, the strangest part of all of it is the public nature of it. Every rose or flower or cup of Starbucks (as if!) you send to someone IS POSTED TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS.

So it's like this. I send a hibiscus to someone sort of tentatively, hoping and waiting to see what this person might say. Immediately after I do it, headlines go out across Facebook to one and all: BECKY MOTEW SENT A HIBISCUS TO FARNSWORTH JONES. NYAH NYAH!

[I post as Mary Willis there, dear reader. If you want to find me, I'll be your friend and you can send me a hibiscus]

You really have to think carefully what you do on there or even who you talk to. Not that I don't like to pore over everybody else's hibiscus choices. Gosh, look at that. Wonder what his wife thinks about it.


A casual girlfriend on there recently sent me an invitation to "go wild." Facebook gives you suggested answers, such as:
throwing a sheep, dancing, or even showering with them. I kid you not.

SHOWERING? You could end up disgracing yourself in all manner of ways on Facebook and that's why I am Pretty Darn Quiet.


Oh well, enough of that.


July so far is so-so. My town had fireworks on July 3, which we were positive were rained out until we heard them going off as we sat at my kitchen table. Oh well. We can always go upstairs and start sending zinnias on Facebook.

Nobody had more fun than Maeve on the Fourth. We celebrated by playing Let 100 Balls Fall Into The Yard.
Be here now, dear reader.
A bientot
love,
becky

21 Comments:

At 3:03 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

Oh, Maeve is such a sweetie face!

I'm cracking up about Facebook. Not only does it broadcast everything you do to your friends, it also broadcasts every change you make to your profile. I saw a message once that said something like, "So and So is no longer listed as 'married'." Gee, sorry to hear that. It broadcasts every group you join or leave, i.e. "Becky Motew joined the group, 'Hibiscus Haters Anonymous'."

There was a controversy over the holidays about Facebook starting to broadcast every PURCHASE you made online. Can you imagine? For example, a guy bought his girlfriend a gift on Amazon and his Facebook profile announced it to all his friends...including the girlfriend. I'm sure that's only the PG-rated trouble THAT caused. Blockbuster Online wanted me to let everyone know which movies I'd rented. None your beeswax, Facebook Friends!

 
At 4:00 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Oh god, that would kill me, Kris!!! I'm cowering in fear as it is. I do enjoy reading about what you're doing, though.
b

 
At 5:35 AM , Blogger Kay said...

Oh yes that cracks me up! I am on Facebook too but manage to resist the flower sending most of the time. I like to play Scrabulous with my son in Japan.

 
At 5:36 AM , Blogger Kay said...

Oh and Maeve is just adorable.

 
At 7:10 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Thanks, Kay. I will look for you on FB. YOuo know, it's a funny thing. Somebody named Mark Cook is my friend--not your son, is he?

b

 
At 11:22 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

What on earth is a "foopah"??

 
At 5:55 AM , Blogger Kay said...

A foopah? You know, a mistake, a blunder ... a foopah! :)
No Mark cook is not my son ... not enough 'e's'.

 
At 6:49 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

I have no clue, sm. I'm sure Kay is right. Are you on FB?

 
At 1:14 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

No, I'm not (though that is the reference) -- every time I think I should just sign up on sites like that they ask something slightly personal and I bail out. Plus I can't think of a bitchin' alias... There seem to be several guys on myspace with my same (real) name.

I thought 'foopah' could be faux pas too, or maybe some red-light slang I'm not familiar with...

PS Love the New Kids tune choice!

 
At 7:34 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

You're way ahead of me as usual, sm. Who has chosen the New Kids? God, it could be me and I don't even know it.

b

 
At 11:56 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

It is you!

Or maybe someone just pretending to be you, and that's the dead giveaway?

 
At 8:24 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

I am too curious not to press this issue if you're still reading, sm.

Where have I chosen New Kids music? on FB? I truly do not know.

b

 
At 11:38 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Sorry, not trying to be opaque, but didn't want to link to it in case you wanted to keep separation. Yes, it's on FB, at a page for MM. I know nothing about FB, so I dunno that it's something you actually picked or if it's something that gets randomly added, but it does seem to be the same song on reload. The "foopah" question is from that page too.

I was about to write that it didn't actually manage to play on my computer, because no sound came out when I tried a few things to make it play (it looked like it was going but was just silent). But then, appropriately enough, in the middle of my typing this my speakers erupted into NKOTB funkiness! The Right Stuff!

 
At 11:45 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

sm, please link it!!! You know, I post there as Mary Willis and I just noticed there are others by that name......

b

 
At 12:31 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Alrighty then -- your alter-ego is:
MM-the-S

 
At 12:34 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Oh wait a second -- that's not FB, it's myspace! Duh. Sorry about that.

 
At 12:41 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

OMG, sm. I found it. That is not me and not put there by me. Obviously, it must be students of mine in Worcester....I can barely read the yellow type but I think 2006 is the last post. Oh jesus. How can I get rid of it? I am horrified to think that someone can do that.

 
At 12:48 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

There must be some place to complain at myspace. But it's not that bad really -- I thought it was funny! Especially the "interests" spoofs of your blog entries.

(I figured out if you highlight the text with the mouse like you're going to copy it (or select-all from an edit menu or similar), then it's more legible.)

Must go do some work -- will it be gone when I get home again?

 
At 2:49 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

You know what? It is pretty funny. I guess I don't care. Wish I could knew who it was, though. Most of the stuff is from 06 and I've been trying to remember who I had in class then. Thanks for finding this, sm. You're amazing.
b

 
At 12:19 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Thanks, but this one was pretty easy -- I was just looking for your pages on the two sites since you mentioned them. If you had a name like Smith it'd be hopeless, but Motew makes it easier... Must be impossible in China: "wait, is this the blog for Yang Yang (A) the speed skater or Yang Yang (B) the other speed skater??"

You might just try leaving a message on that myspace page -- it says the last login was just a month ago, so maybe someone is paying attention to it. Maybe they've been anxiously awaiting your discovery of it for two years!

 
At 6:45 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

I don't think I will go back. Certainly no one will think that it is really me, right? Although you did. Hmmmmmm.

b

 

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