Tuesday, September 04, 2007

BUSINESSES I AM NOT COOL ENOUGH TO WALK INTO






In truth, I do walk into Starbucks, but I feel inadequate in the extreme. Is there a reason for the Spanish delineations? Grande? Vente? Cinco de Mayo Really FK Big? I thought it was a Seattle thing, coffee. As in small , medium, and large? Or even large, very large, and dude, we're talking horrendous? They want to know if you want whole milk or skim or latte. What's that for? Aren't I going to doctor my own cup over at the triage center by the door? I prefer Dunkin' Donuts because of this. Starbucks, I grant, is very gourmet. You are allowed a consulting session with the clerk about your drink. There are many questions to answer and don't get any wrong, okay? Also I don't really know what half the stuff is. How is espresso different from cafe latte? Is one stronger? Can I make a quick decision on it? Most customers are sitting and working laptops and that gives them an advantage because they can look up the translations before they order.






The clothing stores have fashion models that look like they're on heroin but not enjoying it. To me this is stupid. If you're going to starve yourself and take such a great risk as smack or crack or whatever they call it, I would think you'd be having a raving good time. You'd be hysterical, laughing at the world's perplexities. Instead, these people look miserable. Abercrombie and Fitch makes use of this same marketing angle.




Hollister, the clothing store, is so cool, most people can't even walk past it. You have to take the escalator and walk down. The place is dark inside and I mean no lights. When you walk by, you think it could be a haunted house.


What are you saying when you walk into BEBE at the mall? You are saying I HAVE A GREAT BODY AND DON'T STAND IN MY WAY. Or you could be saying MY DAUGHTER OR NIECE OR SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW HAS A GREAT BODY AND I AM PRETENDING IT'S ME!!
Or I HAVE A HORRIBLE BODY AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE.
That's what I'm talking about, dear reader.
We just don't feel welcome everywhere and we should.
A bientot,
love,
becky

3 Comments:

At 10:04 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

Darling, it's Italian, not Spanish. And "venti" is Italian for 20, as in 20 ounces.

My college education at work. My parents would be so proud.

 
At 12:39 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Odd, then, that they've registered a common Italian word as a trademark! And why isn't a Tall called Alto then?? Too much caffeine in the marketing department, I suspect.

 
At 4:00 PM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Uh oh, mon mal (or mal mal?)

Can we agree on Romance language?

Thanks, you guys.

I did say I was a dfk.

b

 

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