Saturday, August 11, 2007

Living the Dream with Cats



This is Hansel. He gives Living the Dream more of a literal meaning since all he does night and day is sleep. In fact, Dreaming the Dream might be more apt. He used to be far more energetic and I remember when he could leap tall buildings on a whim, catapult from floor to ceiling, or at least annoy the shit out of me by jumping onto the kitchen counter.


What was that blinding gray flash?

It was Hansel exerting his will, living life to the fullest, breaking through the screen window and landing on his feet outside.


June bugs drove him particularly berserk. Unseen noises and specks would keep him on full red alert for hours. And now? Bupkas. Poor guy.


What happened?


It's called age. In cat years, Hansel has made it into retirement, his golden years. In Europe he'd be a cat pensioner. He probably thinks this is his nursing home. I hated to tell him, though, here at Becky's Assisted Living, we do not provide sponge baths or tongue depressors. We do have our version of a bed pan but you have to walk to it on your own four legs. He doesn't have much to say these days either, especially compared to his former rants, mostly on right wing political subjects. Oh, how he used to love Bill O'Reilly. BAL no longer has cable, but that's okay, because our customers bed down early.


The two of them conk out all day long and all night too. It's worrisome to me. I know they're old, but god forbid, what if one of them died while staying here at BAL?




Hi kids, didja have fun in Cali?




Yes, we did.




Was the baby good?




Oh yes.




That's great. Here's your cat back--it was only one, wasn't it?





This is going to be a much easier gig than I imagined, dear reader. Laissez les bon temps rouller....

A bientot


new favorite show: FLight of the Conchordes on HBO

new favorite word: "Dickhid"--must have exact New Zealand pronunciation, We LOVE it.


I'm waking up the cats for it! Listen up, you dick-hids!!!


love,

becky
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6 Comments:

At 2:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, This is Hansel (the cat)
I jumped on your computer while you went grocery shopping - Please don't say those mean things about me - I am not ready for retirement - Even though I am a guest at your house this week - I know where you sleep - so, careful!

 
At 4:54 PM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Hansel,

No meanness meant. I wish you would try to get the mouse in the kitchen, though. love,b

 
At 6:39 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Ms. Beckums,

It's me Hansel - About that cat....
hmmm....well, I am one of the few
who hates cats. I would rather read
a book or polish some silver. Those are the tasks that I love.

But, I do like squirrels - Do you have any? I will get them for you!

MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 6:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oppsss...it's me Hansel -
I wrote I hate cats - hehe...I am a
cat - so, I didn't mean that.
I meant - I hate mice -

I am new at this computer thing -
My paws can't always reach the keys
on the keyboard.........

MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 9:19 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

Ah so you discovered the Concords! Our secrets are no longer safe. ;)

 
At 6:28 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love cats and i usually purchase their food from PetFood Directstore at CouponAlbum.com... You should also visit here to save money!!!!

 

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