Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Memorable Seduction Lines




"I say we take our clothes off."


"Why don't we get in the back seat?"


"I want to poke you."


"What does the rest of the house look like?"


Now dear reader, make no assumptions, please. I have garnered these morsels from many sources and may actually have never heard any of them myself.

The painting depicts that rascal Cupid and his lover Psyche. I'd say he's primed for success right here, wouldn't you?
In my nun book, or ex-nun book that I am writing, my protag will of course face the dating world She will fall for the worst cads, of course, because she is entirely innocent. But the fat guy will be there all the way and getting less fat as time goes by.
It's not a romance, though.
She has lost her faith in God but can't and doesn't tell anybody. It's not like anything I have written before.






In other news, mass quantities of bees are marshalling forces outside my bedroom window and indeed outside all the upstairs windows. It's a yearly thing for them, probably like the company Christmas party and I wouldn't doubt that many of them are drunk and attempting seductions themselves. The constant buzzing is annoying and alarming in a dull muted way.
GO PICK ON SOMEBODY ELSE!
I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITH SQUIRRELS!
They (the bees) occasionally build little mud hives right on the side of the house, which I bravely reach out and whack loose.
BEGONE!
I SMITE THEE!
QUIT PROBING MY RHODODENDRONS (possible further connection to seduction theme)


Sorry, I keep yelling. But I AM NOT AFRAID OF BUGS!!! Seriously. I can kill an ant or spider with my thumb while I sit talking at the kitchen table.
Some have been horrified by this.
Men are ridiculous where bugs are concerned. I never met one who didn't want to kill them with aerosol spray. In the time it takes to mildly choke a wasp with oven cleaner fumes, I could have killed a dozen of them with a wrapped-up magazine. [shakes her head in disgust and strolls outside to lasso a few dogies, wherever they may come from here in central Massachusetts]
And so I am off to NYC for a writers' conference, which promises to be great fun. I am moderating a panel of high-octane literary agents, so let's pray that I don't trip over anything or otherwise make an ass of myself.
Death to all bugs and snakes!
A bientot
love,
becky

5 Comments:

At 11:54 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

"Hey baby-bee, shall we move this force-marshalling up to the bedroom window?" buzz buzz

 
At 11:18 PM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Har har SM.

b

 
At 5:52 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

Have fun - sounds like you have a major role to play. May anyone who wants to trip you up, get the BM insect treatment!(Carry a rolled-up newspaper at all times.)
I'm disappointed the ex-nun doesn't get any romance ... so all those allusions and euphemisms in this latest post are just teasers then? ;)

 
At 9:11 AM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Oh yes, CB, I think the ex-nun will get romance, heartbreak, everything under the sun. I like the concept of the BM insect treatment!

b

 
At 11:44 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I think my overly-clever line got the virtual BMIT...

Sympathies on the NYC traffic -- I've experienced the old four-down-six-back a few times myself.

 

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