Monday, October 30, 2006

SCREAM!!!



I am screaming because I have no choice but to stay home on Halloween. Yes that's right, trooping up and down the stairs to hand out candy to unknown costumed urchins. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. This is how I will look when I answer the door, and if the little ones develop psychoses from it, that's what they get with their Milk Duds.

I bought the grossest candy I could find, including Milk Duds, caramels, Snickers, and a bag of something else. All with nougat and Elmer's Glue inside, ready to remove sealants, fillings, crowns, and dental implants with one bite(see previous post).

I used to like to get Luden's wild cherry cough drops on Halloween, though I can't remember who exactly gave those out.

HONEY, DID YOU REMEMBER TO BUY THE COUGH DROP SNACKS?
WHAT ABOUT THE VICKS VAPORUB SAMPLES?

I think I'll give Advil tablets. The kids ought to know how to fight a sick headache before they get any older.

Everyone is so suspicious. Do they think I have the patience to put razor blades in apples? Can you see the person trying to do that? They've got a big cookie sheet spread with apple halves and blood from trying to get the blades to go in the right way. I would have no idea how to do that. And as far as poisoning the popcorn balls, I wouldn't know how to make a popcorn ball if my life depended on it.

If any of my friends are reading this, I'm still available for the movies tomorrow night, or shopping, drinks, cruising the Army base, or an outing of practically any kind. The candy can be yours.

Be here now. God, PLEASE be here now so I don't have to be.

A bientot
love,becky

10 Comments:

At 9:53 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I was surprised when my mother told me the other day that she doesn't "do" Halloween anymore either, and that she goes to the movies that night. (I probably knew that before but have a short memory.)

Seems like a lot of people have angst about Halloween now (myself included). Perhaps a holiday like this doesn't fit with our society any more -- we're not nice enough or polite enough to each other to make it work. In my case, I don't know my neighbors and I don't really want to know their children, let alone feed them. But when I went out trick-or-treating as a kid, many neighbors knew me. There must still be neighborhoods like that somewhere, but I don't live in one.

I'm with you on the razors-in-apples thing -- ever since I first heard of the notion as a child, I never could quite picture how the heck it would actually work.

 
At 10:46 PM , Blogger hank p ryan said...

Giving Advil! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. But realistically, it's in those requisite little sealed packets, so no one can really argue. And maybe the parents who have spent the previous hour or so trudging down their streets smothering in their Darth Vader masks would be grateful. Unless--you could somehow put martinis in sealed packets. Now there's a treat.

 
At 10:47 PM , Blogger hank p ryan said...

Giving Advil! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. But realistically, it's in those requisite little sealed packets, so no one can really argue. And maybe the parents who have spent the previous hour or so trudging down their streets smothering in their Darth Vader masks would be grateful. Unless--you could somehow put martinis in sealed packets. Now there's a treat.

 
At 10:47 PM , Blogger hank p ryan said...

Giving Advil! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. But realistically, it's in those requisite little sealed packets, so no one can really argue. And maybe the parents who have spent the previous hour or so trudging down their streets smothering in their Darth Vader masks would be grateful. Unless--you could somehow put martinis in sealed packets. Now there's a treat.

 
At 6:13 AM , Blogger Becky said...

My neighborhood seems pretty nice, SM1, but that doesn't mean I have to be, eh?

Hank, sealed martini pouches--now we're talking.

b

 
At 11:23 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Careful, it might be a sting!

TONIGHT ON CHANNEL 7 NEWS AT ELEVEN

Hank infiltrates online coupon cult that dreams of handing out drugs and booze to our children!!!

 
At 8:51 PM , Blogger Mark said...

Very funny, sandman. But hey, this could be my 15 seconds, so sign me up to the cult.

I was actually around your way, becky, a few years ago, and spent Halloween in Salem. Very weird carnival atmosphere going on. Didn't get any candy.

 
At 9:42 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I'm only half-kidding, for those not familiar with Boston news personalities:
http://www1.whdh.com/newsteam/?id=19

 
At 9:22 PM , Blogger Mark said...

Wow, we really are going to be on the news then? That's what I call very small 'i' investigative journalism.

 
At 10:00 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

If she were really doing an undercover, surely she'd use an alias, so I'm more inclined to wonder if it's just someone using her name as an amusing alias. Or it just could be her for real, not investigating anything, just hanging out online.

Whatdya say 'hank', clue us in or leave us hanging?? (hanging's more fun I think)

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home