Sunday, January 01, 2006

First Dress Theory

Many years ago, my girlfriend and I got on the bus and went to downtown Little Rock and shopped for prom dresses. Within five minutes, I found a good candidate, turqoise chiffon, satin belt, the right length (short by today's standards). Well, of course I wasn't going to buy the very first dress I looked at. You can't do that. So we continued on our rounds. We did this all afternoon. We went everywhere. Truthfully, I can't remember what my friend bought or didn't buy, but I know one thing.

I never found anything better than the first dress. Luckily, it was still there late in the day and I bought it.

This became the pattern of my life in some ways. The first thing was always the best. Dresses, houses, boyfriends (there are some exceptions), etc. Then later, I was always killer at auditions and kind of "lost it" by the time of the actual performance. The first thing I tried always worked best. The first play I wrote, the first technique I tried in class. So now, of course, my deepest worry is that CG, my first pubbed book, will be the best I can ever do.

Oh stop whining, you say. I will.

Can you tell I'm having trouble getting a focus on my present work in progress? I just can't figure out where it is going. I have plenty of atmosphere and am drawing a more and more intricate background for it, but where is it GOING? What is the STORY? These are problems, my friends.

And so good night.


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